SCHOOL OF KNOCKS.

Kakamega Primary 2011...I'm entering upper primary in a public school with over 1500 pupils... Wow.... This was also during the initiation era.... So you we're either the predator or the prey. I heard rumors about pupils from one hood(let me call it "downtown") getting jumped and beat to pulp at this school. Thought it was all crap. Here's the story; 

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Back then, I honestly can say my age was 12 ....But my brain was 20.I was getting head from random naughty teen-age girls(because I was from some fancy ass school and some posh hood in some City. City life you know😅)I was screaming Tommy Lee lyrics you could think I was from some town in Jamaica and I honestly thought I was untouchable. We all have our Crews as kids which makes it even worse. 

First week of public school. I'm hoping with my crew at the fences at the corner end of the school(this spot was only for the most lit people in the school and who weren't us definitely) and the "uptown kids" show up. They interrupt our football game for their initiation speech. "All you downtown folks will each get your day. Once your day comes, just let it happen. "We laugh. They keep hooping. This guys are ONE year older than me. They are tripping if they think I'm scared of some 13 year olds. The next day, I'm in the hallway heading to class and my boy comes running down the hall screaming

"THEY GOT IVAN!".........I may have peed just a little bit. I keep my cool and try to decipher the words through his panic. So I ask him what exactly happened.... "Ivan kept showing them his middle finger while making faces and the uptowners jumped on him with metal planks they stole from the workshop where the old desks and lockers are stored. "....Hold on.... METAL PLANKS!?.... People exaggerate sometimes.... So I head to class... 

I'm hearing whispers for the rest of the day. And Ivan apparently went home so I can't even verify this story. The day ends and I head home. I'm not completely sold yet. So I'm not stressing. The next day, the crew meets to discuss..... Ivan shows up in the morning and he's limping holding his side. ....We're all just waiting for him to speak. He looks at us with fear in his eyes and says..... "Don't let them get you.... ".....Now..... You see now... NOW IM A BELEIVER... this Uptowners are on some bullshit. For the entire day, I start switching up my routine. Sitting with different people at lunch... Walking around teachers a lot after class to ask fake questions. I didn't even play ball that day. I was able to make it through the day without seeing the uptown lads. It was silent.....too silent. The end of the day bell rings and I head out through the front gate to make sure that I'm safe because no one can grab me infront of the staffroom and the offices. I get outside and already there's a crown of kids. They got another member of my crew. People start helping him up and I look down the street and I see the downtown kids laughing. 

At this point, my confidence comes back.... I start telling myself... These guys got caught slipping... I'm much smarter than this.... And if it comes down to a foot race, they ain't seeing me. I catch my bike and ride home with this new mentality. I get to school early the next day. Get everything I need from everywhere, places like the canteen and library and wait in my class for the bell to ring. This is how we're going to play this.... I will arrive early.... Leave early.... If I do this for an entire month, they will give up. I start giving myself that evil laugh from cartoons. 

My bestfriend Terrell and I are the "cool dudes"/"athletes" of my crew.... So we make a plan to stick together since we both know we can outrun these chumps. I inform him of where we'll meet as soon as the bell rings and we'd be off this. He meets me there...... The bell rings and we take my office route again towards the front doors. Before we walk through, I see the uptowners standing on the hill out front. THESE NIGGAS ACTUALLY HAVE METAL PLANKS IN THEIRE HANDS!...... I feel my chest squeez. Look at Terrell. We gotta use the side gate and make a run for it. We head towards the side doors. All is clear. We take 3 quick breaths. And push through the side gate towards the motorbike stage across the street. They see us. They are fast. We start wearing through traffic. There is no vehicle heading towards our route(downtown) here. We can't wait at the bus station too. OWEN THINK... The FILLING STATION..... The Filling station behind the bus station has a restroom on the outside with a door. I run inside and I keep the door open just long enough for Terrell to get in. I slam it and Lock it. The uptowners keep kicking the door. I think I may have held Terrell. 

The kicking stops.... Nah.... We're waiting an hour. I've seen enough horror movies in my life to know they didn't just LEAVE... Just over an hour goes by. I slowly peak through the smallest crack in the door. They're gone. We tap each other and walk home. 

Now this is the part of the story that reminds me I still haven't learned shit since I was 12.Women truthfully can turn any man to a fool...... ANYMAN.... I carry out my envision plan and make it through another day unseen. But the girl I've been crushing on is outside.... On the hill.... All saftey measures have left the chat.... I head to the hill and she sees me. She smiles. I act brand new. And I join her with her girls. I don't even remember what we were talking about.... Genuinely who cares?... I'm an idiot.... GO HOME... I hear yelling.... But I'm in a convo. The yelling gets louder... Truthfully it was probably as loud the first time. But I was occupied clearly. I can make out the voice now. It sounds like..... IT SOUNDS LIKE TERRELL...... 

The uptowners had just got Terrell and he Came out to the front to warn me. "OWEEENNNNNN THEY A-........ " I take a metal Rod to the back of my head.........I go down. Complete blackout.

It felt like everybody wore new Tougheese that day..... HOW MANY OF Y'ALL ARE HERE!? ......I couldn't hear anything. The headteacher comes out and everyone scatters. I'm curled up looking cold. Then I find the pride to pull myself together and I stand up. I tell the head teacher I'm fine. And I limp to the motorbike stage and take a bike home. 

Everybody's got gangster stories. Teen-agers in senior primary school in my rural county(Kakamega)  were really about that life..... I was humbled.... But I respected it. So my crew and I decided to keep the tradition going the coming year, but with a few tweaks because everyone needs to get their ass whooped atleast once in their life. But that never got to happen because the ass whooping I got traumatized my mum till I was shipped off to a boarding school after tasting only 3 months in a public school. But an ass whooping is like chicken pox... Gets definitely much worse when you're older. 

                   THE END

THE NIGHT

We all have one night... One night we truly wish we could take back... One night that really didn't NEED to happen... Liquor tends to be involved in these nights... But when you mix liquor with irrational sexual desire... These nights typically don't end well. Here's the story; 

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It was a normal night at the club... I'm not a booth guy.... So I usually end up wondering off by myself to actually see the rest of the club... I land at the bar and I order my usual.... 

"Double rye and ginger please..... "

I'm sipping on the ones.... Enjoying myself.... Minding my own damn business.... And she approaches me... I don't know who she is.... But she knows me... 

"Watchu drinking?  She asks... Typically, I know the next play here... I'm not attracted to her AT ALL. But I answer to be polite... 

"Rye and ginger"...she goes  "Ah... You got taste dude"..." Bartender can you get him two more please? "...I turn to the bartender.... "NO.. NO.. Im good... " She overrides my clear play avoidance by telling the bartender to still make the drinks... Two more drinks appear.The drink I got myself is finished. I look at the drinks. Then I look at her. She smiles. Owen if you take these... You know what you're entering. I convince myself. I will drink this two, thank her and be on my way. STRIKE ONE. 

I pick up drink one... She gets to talking... Here we go. At this point I took the drink.. I'm obligated to engage in the conversation now. I made my choice. 

"So what's your name? "She asks... Remember she already knows me. But I don't know this yet. 

"I'm Owen.... " I don't even bother with the ".....and yours? " becuase I genuinely don't care. I just want to talk and be polite long enough to finish my whiskey and leave. She blocks my uninterested play and counters.... "Nice to meet you Owen... I'm Whiskey?."(We're going to call her Whiskey for this story because Whiskey is the reason this all happened.)  Lets continue. I finish the first drink as quickly as possible. I need this to end.

 "Nice to meet you as well. " I respond as I pick up drink two. I started feeling the double a bit faster than I expected. I haven't eaten. So this liquor is about to have it's fun... More small talk continues until I finish drink two. 

"Well it was a pleasure talking to you Whiskey. I got...... "

"Bartender, please get him three more.... "

Pardon??... "No... No.. No..I really have to go back to my booth. " I start looking over the crowd of people trying to suggest the direction of where my booth is... She goes "So you don't want these 3 drinks coming? "...OF COURSE I DO... BUT NOT FROM YOU... I didn't say this out loud of course.

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I don't know who trained the bartender but this guy makes drinks fast as shit. The drinks arrive. I see them. They see me.... FUCK IT... I pick one up.STRIKE TWO. I basically chug the 3 drinks since I really hate this conversation and it's ruining my buzz. I just want to leave.... 

"LAST CALL! ...The DJ just fucked me... Wow. What time is it? No way".....I know she heard it. She's still here. I don't even want to look at her.

 I turn slowly... I see the bartender pull out four more cups. NOPE. WE'RE NOT DOING THIS.... Yes we are.... We definitely are. 

.

I've never seen such a sinister smile on a woman's face before. You know what, it's just a conversation. She was feeling generous. I was being friendly. I'm going to finish my drinks and head home... Leave the bartender a tip for being an accomplice and be on my way. STRIKE THREE

Let us take a second to remember these drinks are doubles.... DOUBLES... By drinking two of this, I damn nearly went blind. I can't even tell you what we were even talking about at this point. I truthfully don't even know if I said anything at all. The light come on. I do a quick chug of the remaining two drinks... Why? You didn't even need those... YOU DIDN'T EVEN PAY FOR THOSE... I don't know who or what my eyes saw when I was looking at her. But it definitely wasn't the same girl I was soberly unattracted to. IM OUT OF STRIKES. 

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"Where you heading now? "...Timely, I respect it. I believe I replied 'home'. If I didn't actually say it, I definately wanted to... 

"Let's go to my place.. " was the last thing I remember being said in the club... I ended up at her place. Teleportation does exist I tell you fam😅

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To remove all assumptions at this stage, she was drinking whatever she was drinking at the bar with me. She was not sober... But she was definitely not whatever the hell I was. Again, she knew me already. I don't know her. 

I always keep a condom in my denim jacket when I'm single... Just incase my night takes me on a tour somewhere else. So I was still aware enough to remember that. Maybe since it was a habit. We're on her bed now and I'm dizzy as fuck... BRO... GET UP... GO HOME... (These are only thoughts).I started taking my jeans off. Brains have left my group chat. She comes on top of me. She's heavy. Wow. I can't make out her facial features. But she's heavy. I DONT REALLY LIKE HEAVY. I DONT THINK I SHOULD DO THIS. (This again are only thoughts) 

She attempts to insert my friend.... I roll over to my jacket... OWEN, IF YOU DON'T ROLL YOUR ASS OFF THAT BED AND GET A " NDUTHI" RIGHT NOW(More thought). I get the condom. I roll back... It begins. I don't remember how it felt, but it happened. 

.

I also have another habit. No matter what, I am always the one to dispose of my condoms. I never give it to the woman to get rid of... I hear stories... I don't know the validity of them. So I just always make sure I am the last to see it. (Except for this night) I'm damn near paralyzed after. 

She asks, "want me to toss that for you? "...I would never EVER say agree to that in my right mind, but I can't move and I'm so tired and dizzy. I reluctantly hand her the condom. She leaves. I fall asleep.The next morning I wake up with a mild headache. But I get a good look at who I was just sleeping besides. I scramble. Whip my jeans on, get my jacket and leave in a panic. WHAT.... DID.... YOU... JUST.... DO? I'm appealed with myself. 

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A couple months pass. That night is burried in my brain archives never to be  accessed again. I'm at school having a great day actually and I get a text message from an unknown number.. "Can we talk? "....WHO THE HELL IS THIS?? As politely as possible, I respond with 

"Sorry, who is this? "

"It's whiskey... "

 I don't remember her name yet. So I'm still unsure who this is. I respond again 

"Whiskey who?... " 

She goes  "From the club. I bought you drinks... Remember? "

"Ah, Whiskey... Yes I remember... "

"Yes, that Whiskey... So listen, I'm pregnant. "

NOPE... THATS NOT POSSIBLE. (these are thoughts) But I reply with 

"How? " She's like "I don't know... I don't really remember that night... "

The first thing that Came to my mind was that I used a condom. So it ain't mine. But then my minds starts to race... You gave her the condom then fell asleep ...it's not possible that she.... Nah.... How?? Can sperms even still live??... Wait... No... Could she?... Ask her what she did. So I ask...

 "What did you do with the condom I gave you that night? "....

She replies 

"I don't remember... "

YOU DONT REMEMBER!? WHATTT.... DID YOU THROW IT OUT OR DID YOU FLASH IT? THOSE ARE THE OPTIONS. (This  were very aggressive thoughts) But I'm in the school premesis. So I have to compose myself and I reply with 

"Well, remember.... "

"I think I flushed it.... "

YOU THINK!? WHAT.... Now I'm sick. I get up from where I was sitting. I need air for this conversation... 

"Whiskey what did you do!? "

"I don't know, I'm sorry. I just wanted to let you know... "

I think my brain fainted. Is that possible? Because I was still standing. But I couldn't see anything. The whole night is replaying in my head in pieces. So many gaps. I never saw her return to the room. I need answers.

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I text my friend. The "detective " typpa girl you know 😅.I give her the limited details that I know about whiskey and she gets to working. I get back to whatever I was doing. With a new perspective. This is all made up. She wants my attention. That's all this is. There's  no baby. You're good Owen. You're not even deep into your 20's yet. Don't trip..

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I try to focus on my class work again. Then I get a new message. There's a photo attachment. I open it. AN ULTRASOUND!?..... I start spiraling. I look at the bottom of the ultrasound photo. Whisky's legal name is there. There's a real baby. I send the information to my "detective".She's like"...don't trip yet.... I'm working. "

I'm so weak.... I feel like I'm on the ropes... I already start planning my script for my friends and family about this one night stand baby. 

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"BRO, ITS NOT YOURS! "....I see at the top of my phone from the detective as I'm staring off into space. I open it. Still not sold yet, I reply with

"What did you find? "

With all my doubt accompanying it. She goes

"Well I did some digging... Listen to this... Turns out one of my friends is actually friends with her. I've been using her to ask Whiskey questions.... "

Now I'm intrigued. Girls are amazing. "

So apparently,whiskey has been seeing this guy(a mature guy)  but she's scared to tell him she's pregnant with his baby... "

Wait.... What!?.... Why am I being tormented emotional like this by Whiskey?... This is not some game. I ask the "detective" to get the name of the guy Whiskey is seeing. I'll take it from here. This energy is about to shift. 

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Were going to call him SHIFT.... because without him, I'm still a puddle on the floor. I virtually Sprint back into the conversation with Whiskey and simple send her 

"I spoke to Shift... "

Since we're playing games today, let me get my controller. 

I wait... I wait some more... Still waiting... A message finally appears... 

"No you didn't... "

I start smirking at my seat like some furious druglord in those Narcos Films... I have her. 

"Yes I did... And I'm about to let him know you're pregnant... "

This time she replies awfully quickly...

"I just talked to SHIFT... He said he never spoke to you. "

Ah, well played whiskey. Well played. So I ask my detective for more backing up Intel 😅

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I request she gets me Shift's profile... I send Whiskey the profile. And there's no reply for literally 20 minutes. I get back to work preparing for the next round. Whiskey finally replies

"OK... It's not yours... But you were a good guy... I've seen so many times before. I figured if I did have this baby you'd be a great father and SHIFT would never have to know. "

WHISKEY.... WHISKEYYYYYYYY.... WHAT THE FUCK!!?? 

I never ended up needing to message SHIFT. She did have the baby. I can't say if I'm still drinking Whiskey, but lemmi get one actually. 

               .T H E E N D... 

BRO, YOU GOT PLAYED.

I've been played ONCE(the most painful one)  in my life. She was good... great even... a real professional. She covered her tracks immaculately.... She used my non invasive personality against me.... She won.... Until she didn't. Here's the story :

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First week of talking she invites me to her house warming party (she's 3 years older than me, but it doesn't matter😅)I pull up and all her friends are there.... Girls and guys. Mind you, I barely know her at this point. So I don't know anyone there. But I am social.So we get to play some drinking games.

I dont know who made this game up.... But we all agree to put a bunch of questions into a bowl and EVERYONE has to answer whatever question anyone pulls out. The bowl comes to me and the question is

 "When was the last time you had sex? "...

Who set me up? Holy.... Anyway I answer. 

Remember we've only been talking for a week. We hadn't slept together yet. So my answer was about to shake the room. I tell the truth and say 

"3 days ago."

As I avoid all eye contact with her. I may have just shot myself. Now there's this "Chilled rich kid" sitting directly across from me and besides her. It's his turn to answer the same question. I wasn't certain at the time but I'm pretty sure he whispers to the girl I'm seeing 

"When was the last time again? "

and he says "last week...."

Pardon??? Nah.... It's the liquor. I'm tripping. She doesn't have a man she's currently smashing in the room right now.... NOPE.... I convince myself I must have misheard and the game continues.... It's her turn to answer. She gets up and 'gets everyone drinks'

I'm like "it's your turn.... "She goes 'you guys keep playing I'm getting more liquor for everybody'.... I gave her the the shifty eyes... But I don't want to make it an issue. Especially since nobody in the room even knew me. But I'm TRIPPIN inside.... 

I can't stop thinking about "The Coolkid" POTENTIALLY whispering to her. So I end up overthinking so much till I can't focus anymore. And I proceed to leave at around 2am... It's late anyway. So I make that my excuse for the abrupt decision to stop playing. She notices I'm off and meets me at the door. She's like "everything okay? " ....of course I lie and hit her with "I'm good.... Just getting tired".I can tell she doesn't buy it. I can see she's trying to replay the night and locate the moment she slipped up. But we both hold composure and I leave. 

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I'm there thinking of how I'm gonna walk home then 20 minutes later I text her 

"Listen, I know we're not together and we just started talking. But don't invite me to a party with a guy you're fucking.... "I couldn't keep it in any longer... But she was ready.

She responds with the vintage "WTH are you talking about" line.... So I continue to tell her about what I believe I heard..... "'Coolkid' turned tk you and asked you when was the last time".....this is where she goes into her bag

"First of all.... Me and 'Coolkid' are ONLY friends. "

"He didn't ask me when was the last time him and I had sex.... He asked when was the last time he told me he had sex because he's always telling me about chicks he's fucking.... "

Bruh, at the time I felt like an IDIOT.... And because I barely knew her.... Now I look CRAZY. 

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Because I now felt like a damn psychopath... I apologize.... I APOLOGIZE. And tell her come outside so I can tell her in person. She comes and she milks me for all I got. 

"I can't believe you would think I would so that? Wow... "

I apologize AGAIN... She leaves and I walk home. 

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Fast forward.... We get past that 'mishap' and we continue to talk for the next 7 months. Truthfully, without any issues. No fights. She meets people close to me, my cousins and even my mum. But I haven't made her my girlfriend yet because that night in week 1 still hasn't left my mind. My cousin is getting married and he ask me if I want to invite her as a guest. Now, my cousins wedding isn't a small thing. So I had to really think hard if I would bring her to that. After some thought, I decide she's been amazing for 7 months.... Why not, right?...... Well..... 

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For the entire time we've been talking I hadn't posted a single photo of her.... Kept it on the know because I had my concerns. But if she's coming to my cousins wedding... I felt this was the day I'd make her my girl. And release it publicly with my first past of us. 

It's reception time and the DJ is playing some tracks. I ask my cousin's friend to record us dancing because we were hitting it nasty(the dancing😅)....it's time.... I post it on Instagram and continue dancing with "my girl".

It's blowing up.... Many comments.... Many views. And a special DM request. I open the request and it's him..... COOLKID... And one question alone. "Why are you posting my girl? ".....I delete the video immediately. Didn't even think twice. 

.

At this point we had left the reception and I was helping a friend who was shooting at a certain event and I told her to come meet me there.... She arrives with a text ....

 "I'm here babe.... " 

I reply.. 

"Excellent.... "

I meet her outside and tell her let's go for a walk.... She's like

 "What's going on?... "

I repeat

"A WALK"

Straight to business.... I have so much energy right now.... "Why is COOLKID in my DM's? ".....Again, she's prepared like a Kenyan politician....

" Wow... He's funny.... This guy has been jealous for years.... Why is he doing that shit? OMG... "

I stare at her. She lies so comfortably,.... This is nuts. 

I have to get inside and check if my buddy is done shooting. So I park the conversation. But my mind is racing. The event ends and we head back to her crib. I tell her we'll talk later and I go to sleep. First thing in the morning I wake her up with "Now talk.... "

She tells me how there's nothing between them.... And that she'll handle it. "But don't message him." My brains and emotions are all over the place at that point. I agree to her terms. And head home. But I'm TRIPPING. 

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I travel back to school and the next morning I'm in class. And I can't even focus. I know she said don't message him. But I need answers. I'm texting him. Fuck it. I send him a DM with my phone number accompanied with a "call me".He calls in 1.567583 seconds. I get right into it. 

"So Coolkid... Lets cut the chase. Have you had sex with her? " 

Dude laughs and responds with

"She didn't tell you? " I'm like, tell me what?..... Just answer the damn question Coolkid.... He's like "Bro, we dated for 2 years and have been neighbors for over 4 years. What do you think? "....I pause..... 

.

I compose myself and ask again with whatever hope I had left.... 

"Coolkid... Did you have sex with her? "

He goes 

"Of course man....have you? ''....I tell him we've been talking for 7 months so definitely..... So then I ask when was the last time? He goes 

"Umm.. Like 3 days ago I think. "

My cousins wedding was the previous weekend.... TWO DAYS AGO!!! .Alright, remain composed Owen.... You're in class. Just be calm. I'm like alright... 

"Did you use a condom? "

He goes

"NEVER! "

I almost threw up on my classmates books. 

So Coolkid goes 

"Alright I have a question for you.... "

At this point I'm so weak. I reluctantly say

"Sure".

He goes

"There was this night around 9pm where you were calling her and texting her that you were outside her place. What was that about? "

I take a second.... I ask 

"How did you know that? "

He goes "Well I was inside and she told me not to open it. Was that you? " I blank stare at the whiteboard because the lecture hadn't started yet. 

"Coolkid.... That was you? "

"....Yeah, bro... "

I'm dizzy. She told me she was at a friends for a girl night or smthn of the sort. 

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Before deciding to text Coolkid, I had no idea what to expect from the  conversation. So I decided to record the call.... I hang up and just sent her the recording. She had the nerve to reply with 

"So you messaged him anyway? "

Alright... I'm like... Nah, you don't get to do that. 

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I proceeded to add both of them in a WhatsApp group. I'm done with games. This ends now. She comments in the group 

"This is immature "

Yeah, I wasn't mature. I knew it but I just had to do it. You can't play me fowl because I'm younger. LMFAO... Anyway.... "Coolkid, have you and her been together and had sex?... Yes or no" now Coolkid comments, "Bro, prove you did.... "

WHAT!??? WHAT IS HAPPENING.... WE JUST HAD A CALL.... YOU'RE QUESTIONING ME!? I'm genuinely confused.... She leaves the group and so does he.... I'm sitting there in AMAZEMENT. 

what the hell just happened? LMFAO WHAT MJDHFJHSFDHDUDVD..... Anyway.... They can have each other. 

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A friend just texted me about the girl from the story.... She's like "you won't believe who she's dating now.... "I haven't seen or spoken to that girl since 2018...Turns out I know the dude she's NOW with.... Another dude that isn't Coolkid. Im staying out of this. 

Dear Corona

Dear Corona,

Perhaps its just carelessness

Or maybe its our desire to feel  life,

Even if fate wills another way.

Knowing its a risk

But still doing it.

To an extent overdoing it.

Truth is...

There is none.

This life is a mystery.

The biggest secrets are in history.

Everyday under the sun is a  risk,

Before and so is now

When touching has become one.

Death lives among us,

We brush shoulders everyday,

That is to be human.

We cant miss to be...

We will act,

Because its our actions that make us,

Lifes reactions maintains us.

We wont die,

Because it is not today.

We are still here,

We will be another year,

We will touch,

It doesn't matter how,

It doesn't matter where,

Because that is to be human.

We are here for a lifetime.

                            ~Konzolo Owen.