THE FIRST TIME.

In telling this story, I have assumed great courage. Stupid as it sounds, I find it a compelling to warn you against investing in BDSM(if you know your PornHub well)  with a girl that is petite, sapiosexual and introverted. She said she was an "old soul".I wish she'd included "kicker" in her profile. 

So a few years ago, I was going about my business when my boss called. His daughter who "had just completed her postgraduate in France" was on her way home. But she needed someone to show her the ropes. You know Nairobi and how everything changes every month. My boss couldn't think of a better fit. 

Long story short, my boss just wanted me to be there and ease her long-legged daughter back into the Nairobi life. I wasn't going to jump on it, lest he(my boss)  rescind the offer so I pretended to be bothered. I even mentioned "bad roads","lots of other work" and "Kenyan corruption " just to avoid being the one to show her around. 

He(my boss)  said he understood, and thay for my SACRIFICES🤒,he would compensate me. So there I was, not a tall dude, picking an exotic woman from the airport. Jeanette was rather quiet-the shy breedof quiet. Listened to Sonny Rollins(I know most of you have never heard of him, me too. Till I met her)  and she didn't like it outside. 

For two months, we indulged in everything with the exception being that I had not been to her place. So one day I am pissed, my lecturer was a jerk, and my smirking friends didn't help the situation. I was about to beat everyone around me at the time when Jeannette called. 

She said she made chocolate soup with "kosan Kroto" which I later came to understand was in fact "croissant croutons".I packed my body and went husband knocking in her crib. This quiet girl opened the door and invited me into the wonderful restaurant that was her sitting room. 

I was almost sitting down when I noticed the ugliest dog I ever saw. Jeannette quickly defended the 'martian' saying "he was born that way and it's not it's fault. (I actually thought for once that it was some creature from Mars along with some rock on her cupboard which I later found out was worth some good thousands in an antique store). I'm about to start beating that dog when she distracts me with 'kosan Kroton'. 

We eat in silence, I am a chew away from completing my food when I receive a thunderclap on my left cheek. Tears trickle down helplessly as I turn to look at my enemy only to see my petite host grinning innocently. I think "maybe it's an accident and she's sorry". Then she stands up and literally kicks me in the head. The kick was so damn painful I scream like a bitch. I am not done screaming when she ushers me to the bedroom. I was in pain yes, but I also wanted to nut on that lil boo's wet crack so to the bedroom we go. I get in there and it's like some tool shop in there. 

I start praying. Thinking about the chicken I left home. Jeanette had chains, muzzle gags, spreaders, those big ass vibrators, forks, spoons, knives, let's not even talk about the number of dildos and the variety of sizes they came in and other cutlery. I'm commenting on the weather outside when she trips me. I fall with a thud. Not on the bed but on the floor and I knew right there and then I was going to fight. 

I unleash thorough kicks which sends her flying across the room. So now both her and her dog are now the crying bitches😂.(I kick the dog too. Just for the sake of it.) I am about to walk out of the room when she starts hurling shoes at me. 

I just saw a dude I know reply to her IG story right now complimenting her reserved demeanor. And I really want to tell the dude to stick to ugali and sukuma. That the croissants are not worth the beating in the name of sexual turn on. But niggas will always be niggas. So good luck punching bag. Carry a helmate too.